Character Before Influence
“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.” 1 Timothy 3:1–13
Does your character match the influence you seek? Who are you when no one’s watching?
The man in the mirror—not your title or talents—determines whether you’re fit to lead your family, church, or community. Character before influence is God’s standard, because true leadership flows from a heart shaped by Him.
First and foremost, I'm not calling you out. I’m not here to shame you but to call you up. Every man influences someone—as a father, friend, coworker—and your godliness shapes that impact. Jesus said loving God and others is the greatest command (Matthew 22:37-40). When your character reflects Him, people see Jesus and want to follow.
The Stakes of Neglecting Character
We live in a world obsessed with image and performance. Too often, gifted men rise to leadership only to fall when private cracks—pride, temper, or unfaithfulness—break through in public. Jesus warned that what’s hidden will be revealed (Luke 12:1-3). Look at King David. His private sin with Bathsheba unraveled his family and kingdom (2 Samuel 11-12). When integrity falters, trust shatters, families hurt, and the church’s witness weakens. But when character leads, God’s name is honored, and His people thrive.
God’s Path to Godly Character
God doesn’t demand perfection, only progress through His Spirit. The qualities in 1 Timothy 3—being above reproach, self-controlled, hospitable, faithful—aren’t just for pastors or deacons. They’re for every man who wants his influence to glorify God! Your character makes the Gospel believable to a watching world.
How do you grow? Start today with three steps:
Examine Yourself: Hold your life to Scripture’s mirror. Are you respectable? Gentle? Ask God to reveal blind spots (Psalm 139:23-24).
Seek Accountability: Surround yourself with godly men. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Let them challenge and encourage you.
Commit to Growth: Pick one trait, like patience or hospitality, and practice it daily. Meditate on a verse like Philippians 2:12-13, trusting God to work in you.
These aren’t just tasks—they’re acts of faith, believing God’s way forms you for His glory.
The Vision of a Faithful Life
Picture standing before Jesus, not with a list of accomplishments, but with a life. He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21)—not because you led thousands, but because you were faithful in the unseen moments. That legacy starts now, with your integrity.
Character before influence isn’t easy. It’s cultivated through daily choices and God’s grace. Don’t wait for a title to take your heart seriously. Be the man God can trust with more tomorrow.
Lord, I thank you, not only for salvation but for the examples of leaders You have given in Your Word. Help me to be like you - humble, gentle, and sober-minded. Help me to lead with consistency, in private and in public. Let me be a light to others and bring You glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Motivated Men is part of the LP Men’s Discipleship Ministry that aims to guide and support men in their roles as disciples, servants, brothers, husbands, and fathers, all for the glory of Jesus. We provide counsel, discipleship, and encouragement to help men live out their lives in faith of Jesus with courage and integrity.